Welcome to Kailua Onstage Arts

Written by Austin Tichenor and Reed Martin

Directed by Shannon Winpenny

Starring: Anette Arnix, Garrett Hols and Kevin Keaveney

Fridays - 7:30

Saturdays - 7:30

Sundays - 4:00

At the KOA performance space, 171 Hamakua Dr. in Kailua

Get Tickets below or call 808-829-8606 for reservations.

When none of the scheduled entertainers arrive, it’s up to three quick-witted church members at St. Everybody's Non-Denominational Universalist Church to perform the entire Christmas Variety Show by themselves!  An irreverent yet heartwarming romp through tradition, bursting with festive, slapstick fun.

This show contains bawdy humor and irreverence, and is probably best for ages 12+

The Reduced Shakespeare Company is a touring American acting troupe that performs fast-paced, seemingly improvisational condensations of huge topics. The company's style has been described as "New Vaudeville," combining both physical and verbal humor, as well as highbrow and lowbrow.  Beginning with The Compleat Works of William Shakespeare they have toured ten original shows.

Adventure, bravery and humorous absurdity…led by an all-female cast, Men on Boats is the true-ish story of John Wesley Powell’s expedition of the Colorado River in 1869.  Guided by a one-armed captain, the outlandish but loyal crew encounters various disasters, conflicts and harrowing adventures along the way.  Spinning historical, theatrical, and gender conventions on their heads, this subversive tale of ten men, four boats, and two rivers contains none of the above.

The characters in Men On Boats were historically cisgender white males. The cast should be make up entirely of people who are not. I’m talking about racially diverse actors who are female-identifying, trans-identifying, genderfluid, and/or non-gender-conforming.

Auditions will be held at Kailua Onstage Arts, 171 Hamakua Dr in Kailua. 

Auditions will consist of cold readings from the script. No prepared monologues required. Sides and monologues from the script will be made available at the audition.

A a one-minute comedic piece is encouraged, but not necessary: tell a joke, a story in mime, an interpretive dance, whatever.   Headshots and resumes are also encouraged but not required.

Performance schedule January 17-26, 2020 (with possible extension until February 2).  Performances are Friday/Saturday nights at 7:30 pm and Sundays at 4:00 pm at Kailua Onstage Arts, 171 Hamakua Dr in Kailua

Rehearsals begin Sunday, December 1 at 7pm and will generally run Monday - Thursday 6:30-9:30 at Kailua Onstage Arts, 171 Hamakua Dr in Kailua. 

Men On Boats requires physical movement during the boating scenes. General physical fitness and ability to bend, squat, go down on knees, lift objects, get up and down from the floor, etc. are important.

John Wesley Powell: (20-40) The Leader of the expedition. A one-armed crazy-face with a fiery temper and an excitable soul. Powell hates suits and loves adventure.

William Dunn: (20-40) A hunter. A trapper. An innovator. Dunn wears beaver skin always.

John Cotton Sumner: (20-40) Widely known to be the Bear Grylls of the 1860’s. Sumner went snowshoeing through the Rocky Mountains in winter because “no one had done it yet.” Obviously, he survived.

Old Shady: (30-50) Powell’s older brother and the oldest crew member on the mission. He does not like people.  Must be able to sing old-timey songs

Bradley: (16-30) The youngest member of the expedition. Manic with youth. Genuinely loves people.

O.G. Howland: (20-40) Also plays Tsawiat   

Doesn’t have any friends. Tobacco addled. Is the older brother of…

Seneca Howland: (20-40) Also plays The Bishop

Is not OG’s twin. Also a smoker. These brothers are pretty calm.

Frank Goodman: (20-40) Also plays Mr. Asa

So British. So excited. A red-faced man quite thrilled to be in the American West, though he is made more for the howling gales and the lost winds than for the sun and heat.  Must have British accent.

Hall: (30-50) Makes the maps. Packs light. Doesn’t have time for this. Old soul.

Hawkins: (any age) The Cook. Can make eggs in all styles. Does the inventory. Has his theories.

Tsawiat:  Also plays OG Howland

Chief of the Utes. Composed and wry in sharp contrast to the explorers.

The Bishop:  Also plays Seneca Howland

Wife of the chief and equally contrasting to the explorers. Her opinion hangs in the air, potent.

Mr. Asa:  Also plays Goodman

A desert settler. A strange man in a nifty hat. He is perhaps an angel of comfort, or a fever dream. After all, isn’t this story all because of him? 

“…off-the-canyon-walls funny…” —Variety. “[MEN ON BOATS] is marvelously destabilizing both as history and theater. The stalwartness and selfishness of the adventurers—their cockiness and cluelessness—become biting satire when sent up by women." —New York Magazine. “…you will surely want to spend time with the hearty title characters of MEN ON BOATS…[a] rollicking history pageant…MEN ON BOATS makes canny use of the obvious distance between performers and their roles to help bridge the distance between then and now…The tone is comic, but never cute or camp. And ultimately, you feel, the play respects its bold if fallible pioneers, in all their natural bravery and fearfulness.” —The New York Times.